A library, filled wall to wall with dildos as far as the eye can see! Dildos placed precariously on shelves reaching high up to the windows far above you, through which gleams pure starlight. You enter, cautiously at first, wondering, "What is this magical place I have stumbled upon?"
You walk, slowly, into its pulsating depths. The air reams with exhilaration. A steady humming penetrates your senses. You approach one of the toystacks ahead of you. Noticing a particularly dusty dildo, you blow on it, and lift it from the shelf. Upon it is written word - a poem, from long ago, by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.
A Shadow
I said unto myself, if I were dead,
What would befall these children? What would be
Their fate, who now are looking up to me
For help and furtherance? Their lives, I said,
Would be a volume wherein I have read
But the first chapters, and no longer see
To read the rest of their dear history,
So full of beauty and so full of dread.
Be comforted; the world is very old,
And generations pass, as they have passed,
A troop of shadows moving with the sun;
Thousands of times has the old tale been told;
The world belongs to those who come the last,
They will find hope and strength as we have done.
What would befall these children? What would be
Their fate, who now are looking up to me
For help and furtherance? Their lives, I said,
Would be a volume wherein I have read
But the first chapters, and no longer see
To read the rest of their dear history,
So full of beauty and so full of dread.
Be comforted; the world is very old,
And generations pass, as they have passed,
A troop of shadows moving with the sun;
Thousands of times has the old tale been told;
The world belongs to those who come the last,
They will find hope and strength as we have done.
Suddenly, you realize - the Vibrary is not just for tickling your physical senses; it is for fulfilling your bibliophallic fantasies. Here, you are free to fondle not only your imagination, but also your self.
Grabbing a haikued bullet from a nearby toystack, you approach the front desk. The Vibrarian engages you with a smile and asks to see your Vibrary card, which your nervously reveal from your back pocket.
She smiles knowingly. "Don't be nervous if its your first time."
You present your card. She swipes it. Grabbing a discrete plastic bag, she places your selections inside and wishes you pleasant dreams.
As you feel the humming subside, the outside world seems different somehow - more alive, yet more fragile.
You release a sigh of satisfaction and head home to enjoy your haiku.
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